Krystaaustin's Journals

untitled.

Although I don't use buzznet anymore, I've decided to bring it back for probably one last journal for one amazing reason.

Last night I went & saw Ace Enders @ the Troc balcony.. a small venue that fits a max of 220people @ full capacity. I can honestly say it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. Lame or not, this is exactly how i felt:

first Ace played with his old band (I Can Make A Mess) & they did good... that's it. Good. Cause literally NOTHING will compare to how Ace played with just his band (Ace Enders & a Million Different People)

When he came back on the tiny stage to play with them I immedietely found myself in tears. The second he started singing I literally felt like nothing in the world was a problem. It all just seemed so real & perfect. Every song. Every chorus. It meant something.

What made it even more amazing was seeing how everyone else in the room felt the same exact way. The only other time I ever felt anything like that was when I saw Augustana in 2007. When they played Boston, I literally cried my eyes out the entire song. However, last night i felt that the entire way through.

I know this might sound lame right now but I don't care. I'm writing this down so I can always read it & remember how perfect everything seemed in that moment.

Don't take this as me being obsessed with just HIM...wrong. I'm just obsessed with the way his music affects me & people around me. I felt like I was a part of something that actually mattered & if I had to, I would give up all others shows for the rest of my life just to have another feeling like I did last night.

I hope one day everyone will get this same exact feeling through music & not be afraid to show it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOR19IjwpVA

i'd visit the ocean anyday...

ahahah funny how i never update, instead i post a photo of what i consider heaven.

updated christmas list..

Matthew Fox.

please.. all I want/need for christmas.

don't even need to wrap him up.

...how i'd love to be the bitch to shave his beautiful face & shampoo his shiny hair.

My life goal is to be the cause of their divorce.

you can trust me, trust nobody.

this post is only being made because for once in my life i feel like i actually have time to write in it.

lately i like to compare my life to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.. reasons why : lately everything has been changing & i havn't been adapting too well to it. however, it seems like everything is finally completely & 100% PERFECT. took a few weeks & crying nearly every night but finally i am soo happy and havn't stopped smiling all day (reasons i won't explain)

the other night i went out with gina & all the boys. we stopped at 7-11 and i ended up making one of the best purchases i've ever made in my life..

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everyone was curious to see if they really worked so i tested the experiment, i took them & one hour later (as stated on the package) i was starting to feel a little loopy.

Symptoms:

body temperature suddenly felt a little hotter.

loss of breath.. literally found myself heavy breathing for a while.

non stop shaking legs.

and thennnn i sat down on a big long pole & rocked my body on & around it...

only i would experiment with something like this & not be embarassed to discuss it with the public.
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the boys wanted to go drifting in the rain, if you don't know what drifting is it's basically done in a big empty lot or on an empty street, driving around really fast making sudden turns & almost crashing into poles & buildings.. not exactly my cup of tea and i nearly have a heart attack everytime i watch it, however, that night i decided i was gonna do it. so i got in the car with reese & he drifted.

it's much more scarier watching it cause when i was in the car doing it, i was having the time of my life. however, after i got out of the car, carl got in the car with reese, two minutes later they're calling us from the other side of the parking lot 'we crashed' everyones first words 'THANK GOD KRYSTA WASN'T IN THE CAR'. correct.

that night as they were drifting we also met some guy keith. he's a truck driver from virginia with the craziest accent ever given from god. he stood with us the whole night & i caught onto his accent & have been frequently using it without even knowing.

'MY MOMMA ALWAYS SAYS DON'T SAY SO, SO I SAY 'SO WHAT!''

..made no sense but it was the funniest thing ever.

LESSONS OF THE WHOLE NIGHT

-horny goat weed DOES work.

-drifting isn't as scary as it looks.

-never eat bubbles.

(i did try them since everyone opened my mouth & poured them in, and i was blowing bubbles out of my mouth for the end of the night)

yesterday i didn't go to class yet again, instead went to the boys practice with gina & left with a signed Down Low drumstick (soon to be worth an estimated $5,450)

i can't wait til their Troc Balcony show, their new stuff is insanely good.

afterwards we went to neshaminy to keep up with my traditional Chick Fil A mondays, visted guido & jirm, then out with the boys, went to steves & played Apples to Apples (best game ever), never laughed so hard in my whole life

'CHEESECAKE!' 'POODLES!' 'GIVING A HUG!' 'RICHARD NIXON!'

kev was nice enough to put me down for 'hardworking' and i was mean enough to put him down for 'nasty' .. moments later i also told him he has the potential to be a rapist (you wouldn't understand).

later on in the night i think i had one of the happiest girl moments of my whole entire life. won't get into detail there.

photo of me looking like a spider, lounging weird & playing the game..

in final news, january 4th, soo excited.

me & gina planned a surprise ski trip for everyone.

away for the weekend, failed attempts at skiing & sleepovers sound good to me.

the new fray song is so absolutely amazing.

wish list.

jessica simpson boots.

blackberry storm.

camera.

vampire boys.

happy thanksgiving.

be thankful.

let's promise to never be too scared to live our dreams.

i never have enough interest to update.

either that or i get bored doing it and never finish it.

currently my life is as follows :

2 new jobs @ guess & american eagle.

moving on saturday.

almost done school.

too much change.

i feel as if everything i want to write is something i probably don't want everyone reading so i'm just leaving all my personal things to myself.

creepy story time though: a few nights night around 330am i started getting texts from a random number. it started with 'hey lover' and when i asked who it was they said andy.. too bad i only know 2 andys. one whose number i have and one whose been MIA for a total of 3years. he then went on to tell me 'you'll be so happy to see who it is and i guarantee you won't be disappointed, if you are then you can get down with one of my friends but i'm positive that won't happen'.. that's real promising.

the next night he started txting me again telling me to come meet up with him. curiousity got the best of me and before you know it, me gina and chris were driving to where he was. we get there & he tells me to go inside however that was not happening. then we noticed one dude lurking by the doorway and peeking out. moments later 2 guys come walking over to the car saying my name.. (NOTE: i had no clue who they were) to make this story shorter, they all knew me although i had no idea where they were from or who they were. then one of their friends tried to hit me, gina and chris..

that's when kev and carl came and a fight almost began.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT : never meet up with a mystery man.

apparently this is me..

i look like a grandmother.

the other night i was at kev's house and everyone was making fun of my accent.

apparently i say book really weird.

all night it was 'say book, brought, boots, dog, bag'

'you said WILLA WONKA' '...it's not willa?'

notice that Y.

last night two of the funniest phrases i ever heard in my life were said:

'you say peanut butter like richard nixon'

'you're gonna go home, get a dr.pepper, kick off your shoes & go on the space... it's okay, just leave me a comment'

whole time i'm walking to my door all i hear is yelling 'COMMENTS! PICTURE COMMENTS! BLOG COMMENTS!'

you probably had to be there to find any humor in that.

on a final note, last week i went downtown & as we were driving we saw the world's largest pinata.

it's ginormous & filled with candy.

i can't wait til they knock it down so i can stock up on the sweets.

i remember you well, in that chelsea hotel.

add this to my christmas list..

the story of sid & nancy interests me so much, especially when she dies. i know it probably sounds weird but if i could live in any point in time, i think i would want to be in the chelsea hotel when she died.. maybe strange, but i don't know. when i watch the movie i feel like i'm living it too & i always cry at the end here..

same with the movie true romance, it's similiar to sid & nancy and i just found it so amusing.
i've been reading some 25 page thing online about their relationship all night.

strangely enough, stuff like this really amuses me.

me & dana are gonna go to nancy's grave pretty soon since it's right near us.

it's so weird how her body is like 15 minutes away.

everytime i watch the movie i become more obsessed with how it all happened.

creepy or not.

life's not a competition but i'm still winning.

today i went out to breakfast with my mom.. we went to the kitchen bar. cutest little place ever. i got herbal tea, blueberry bagel & fruit salad.. i can't wait to go back there.

afterwards we went shopping & i filled out applications so maybe i can finally get a real job.. as we were shopping i realized how big my shoe obsession is. i picked out at least 90 pairs of boots or heels that i loved. some of my favorites..

the new betsey johnson jewelry is so pretty. this is my absolute favorite set ever.

there's a matching necklace & ring with it. it's so pretty, i'm obsessed.

i also like these..

inside the heart it says 'fly with me'. i love it.

i want this camera so bad. you probably saw it in the commercial with ashton kutcher. i'm really not sure if i would have been that interested in it if he wasn't the spokesperson for it but that & the fact that it's a touch screen, really sealed the deal.

i guess you could consider this entire update my christmas list haha.

anyone else already know what they want for christmas?

halloween is next week & i'm so excited. the saturday after that is my friend vince's halloween party. going to be so great.

monster mash all night.

we're caught between the storms that never mattered.

i never ever update anymore.

i'd rather be out living my life than sitting here writing about it.

in a few short sentences, my life is amazing right now. new people. new things. change.. there are some things that i wish wern't going the way they are, but the good outweighs this.

the autumn weather is so pretty, i love looking at the different color trees and i love walking in the leaves and kicking them around.. the simple things in life are always the best.

unlike previous years, there is SO much planned for halloween this year, i'm so excited! i ws thinking of being a superhero but the other day on aol.com, it said that superheroes are big this year. i don't wanna be looking like anyone else.. so back to plotting. i want something creative. i kinda have something in mind though.

here's one of my ideas..

right now i'm drinking a dr.pepper and about to go out with the boys.

i'm never home.

believe in me, cause i don't believe in anything.

earlier i posted a bulletin that said this, my complete feelings.. the response i got from my former 6th grade teacher, believe it or not, was everything i needed to hear. & did, in fact, make me cry.. sometimes people help when you least expect it.

you're probably gonna read this & label it 'emo' but it's totally not, i'm completely okay with my realizations..

lately all i've been doing is realizing that i'm pretty much alone in this world.. more & more, i see peoples true colors. sadly, i know i can't fully trust anybody. it's a horrible way to live my life, but i think that deep down everyone is two-faced for their own benefit. everyone just looks out for themselves & doesn't care about the opinions or feelings of others. the thing people around me do, are things i could never find myself doing. i would never go behind someones back for my own good. i would never lie to someone who's been nothing but good to me.

i'm at the point in my life, where i couldn't even tell you who matters anymore. everyone i thought was there for me, has proved to me that there's truly no one is this world that you can count on. it's totally true what they say. 'actions speak louder than words'. because when it comes down to it, people always do the things they're scared to say..
..and as for 'genuine people'..there's really no such thing. deep down everyone's the same in one way or another. and it's not for the better..
honestly, i think that nobody really has good intentions anymore.

the response i got was this..

OK... so the old lady who taught you 7 years ago is gonna help ya out here kiddo. Welcome to adulthood... it sucks doesn't it?!?! High school was this wonderful playground for 4 years... you play, have so much fun, do all kinds of crazy things and then it's over. IN A FLASH! (this coming from the one who has now been out of school for 10 years)

Your not emo... your just coming of age, your seeing things in life that for the last 18 years have been... candycoated and pretty. People change, they go this way and that way and either they will be in your life in one way or another, or your time as friends has passed and now they go to do what they have to and you do what you have to.

28 years and many many friends later.... I have one best friend, and he is the father to my children and my other half. It took me a long time to be able to say that cause I always thoguth the awesome close friends I had would be there forever, but they are not always! I have a few close friends still... but as you grow... you change.

Of all the people who have been in my life, i love them all for what they have given me... wether it be something they said in our time as friends, something they did... but all of these people made me who i am today, and you will see the same .. in time! These people, wether they cross you, backstab you, or whatever else... all of these thinkgs are going to shape you into the adult you will becoem kiddo!

Smile at all the good times... bitch about all the shitty times.. and live your life.. how you want to!! Your a smart girl.. remember that! =)

Sorry to ramble to ya! But hope it helped!

so amazingly true.